I love this:

In our songwriting workshops we talk about the fact that the ancient Greeks believed music was the opposite of astronomy. Astronomy was all about mapping the stars — the furthest reaches of the universe they could access. Music was all about accessing inner terrain. Music had the power to wake up parts of ourselves that we had forgotten — or never even knew — existed.

It’s from the latest e-newsletter by Linford Detweiler of Over the Rhine (my favorite band).

They did a streaming concert recently and have another one coming up. I really should purchase access to them both. It might be nice to break my hermit-habit and invite a few friends ’round to watch one together. I’m weird about that kind of stuff, though.

I get super anxious when people come over or when I go to someone else’s house, especially if there’s a sit down meal involved. It doesn’t happen as much if we’re meeting someplace public that I can drive to and leave when I want. It someone’s home, even my own, it’s different. Nowhere to run away to without being rude. Nowhere to hide except the bathroom for a few minutes at a time. I feel so trapped leading up to social events. Sometimes I cancel plans from anxiety.

Although every single time I hang out or go to dinner at someone’s home I have a lovely, wonderful time. Seriously. The anxiety seems to just disappear (usually) once the party gets started. I’m always, always glad to have gone. But the time leading up to a social event, especially in a home, has become like looking over a cliff for me.

So as lovely as it sounds to watch a concert (which is bound to be a best concert) together , I don’t know if I’ll pick up the phone or not. But I should still purchase access. Just in case.

I need the music, y’know? I need the healing that it brings.