Apple News: Inciting Samuel L Jackson Levels of Poetic Rage

Turns out there are two things I hate more than the Substack iPhone app: paywalls and Apple News without a subscription. I was a paying customer for a while and decided to slim down a little. Now that app literally serves up myriad articles and stories tailored tailored to your interests and enticing you to tap them. So you do, and Apple turns into that hacker nerd guy from Jurassic Park. “Uh uh uhhh! You didn’t say the magic word!” And then that stupid, basic gif of the guy plays while the smarmy words repeat themselves over and over.

It’s. Really annoying.

Deleting.