NPR Watched Biden SOTU Speech with Undecided Voter Who ‘Wasn’t that Impressed’? |

The funny thing about this (not funny “ha ha” but funny “omg we’re all doomed and if I don’t nervously laugh about it I WILL have a meltdown and I WILL take you there with me”) is that any American is “undecided” on who she’s voting for.

What else on this entire earth do you possibly need to see with your own dull, listless, hollow eyes to make a decision? What more literal evidence do you need to have presented before you?

I mean, are you ok, Miranda? Because we’re all concerned.

I know it’s hard to make up your mind when you’re sipping daiquiris on a floatie drifting around in an Olympic sized pool of privilege, and when you get uncomfortable thinking about the political decisions being made impacting millions of other people’s rights but not yours so everything’s cool, and when your non-committal, coy, on-the-fence-I-just-don’t-know act brings all the politicians to the yard to court your vote which makes you feel like they actually care about you as a person so you feel a little less emptiness inside your pure white Christian soul, but come on. Undecided? Really?

Come on, Miranda.

Come on.